- Education
- Buying a Car
- Finding a Partner
- Having Kids
- Voting
- Defend Yourself
- Cleanliness
- Overcoming trauma
- Do not get married young
- Self-Awareness:Emotional Issues
Education
Education is key to making more money. The more you have, the more leverage you have to keep your job and gain raises along the way too. Most good jobs require high school equivalent. Please graduate high school. Your life will be so much easier and that is ultimately the goal. Make your life easier by working harder. Sounds contradictory? Maybe but its true and you don’t want to find out the hard way that you “shoulda-woulda-coulda” made a better life for yourself. It’s just smart living to work hard. Good for you in many ways. Also, if you can get higher than a 2.5 GPA, it gives you better opportunities to get into a college if that’s what you’re interested in doing. If you are not doing well in school, figure out why. Are you dyslexic? Are you bored? Are you not participating or too embarrassed or shy to ask questions or say you don’t understand? Teachers will usually help you if you ask them. You can try to speak with them after class or reach out to your parents if you have that option. Sit next to the smart kid in class and pick their brain. It might just be a matter of your level of engagement or maybe your study habits. Maybe you need to read the material and find ways to be interested in it, like getting a good grade on the test. If you have a learning disability, please speak with a counselor and/or a doctor. It gets harder before it gets easier so get through the hard stuff while you’re young and able. People are more likely to help you while you are young. Use this to your advantage.
Learning a trade is another form of education. You could go to a school or do on the job training. Sometimes that is a better way for some people to learn. I heard of someone who taught himself how to do roofing by watching instructional videos online. If you put your mind to it, you can learn anything. I know someone who started off painting and now has his own business. He was able to gain expertise through years of experience. He watched his boss to find out the next level of his job. When you are ready, you will know. You can make a living off of anything. You just have to be consistent. That means keep doing it at a regular pace and be reliable. When a customer or employer comes looking for you, you should be able to assist. If you can’t, you need to find someone else, but even if you didn’t do it, you fulfilled a request because you made sure they got what they needed. That’s called following through. As an adult, when you follow through on requests or anything, people are surprised. It’s a good thing and it makes you stand out in a good way.
Getting into a trade school or a college is a matter of speaking with the school advisor/counselor/representative. Usually there is an online application and you might have to write an essay. Just be yourself in your writing. Talk about why you want to go to school, what field you want to study and why, what makes you choose that school, whatever comes to your mind. People can tell when you are being sincere in your writing. Always use spell check. The representative from the school will give you a list of other things you might need like transcripts. If you have questions, ask them and go down the list until you have done everything. One step at a time. Do not get discouraged if you have trouble getting something on your list. Where there is a will, there is a way. If you give up and do not take the next step, your path in life will change. It is changing right in front of you with every step you take in life.
Paying for school can be challenging depending on your situation. I didn’t prepare for anything after high school, so my default option felt like joining the Army for me. I am not promoting this idea, mainly because doing something like that is a real risk to your life, but it did work out for me. Our Soldiers are still laying their lives on the line for us. RIP and thank goodness for those heroes. I got all my school paid for by joining the Army and defending this country. I am proud of that and it helped me in so many ways. I got a lot of life skills from them. My younger sister used a combination of FAFSA and grants to pay for school. She still goes part time online and has a full-time job. If you speak to your school counselor, they have all the current financial resources for you.
My job here is just to get you thinking about it. Maybe there is something you haven’t considered yet. Sometimes just that initial spark is something that can light a flame inside you. I wish you the best.
Buying a car
I recommend knowing what kind of car you are interested in before you go to a lot to find one. Go online and view everything you can about what you like and what’s important to you, like safety, smooth ride, fuel efficiency, service costs are important, just everything the public has to say about it. I will not tell you what to buy but try to stay in your budget. A car does you no good if you can’t keep up payments. It will do you more harm than good. Remember cars depreciate in value. Also check how much insurance is going to be for the car you want. You don’t want to find out later it is going to cost an arm and a leg just because you like the fast, red car. Call your bank and try to secure financing before you go to the dealership. Just secure a quote and then see what the dealership offers when you get there as far as interest rate. You want the lower interest rate. Maybe you could convince them to go lower than the interest rate your bank would give you. Be careful because they will try to offer you a high rate at a cheaper vehicle cost but in the end, you are paying more. Know your stuff so you don’t get scammed. If you are getting a used car, check car facts online to see how many owners it has had. If it is too old or has too many miles and owners, it is probably not in great shape. I’ll tell you my first car was two grand cash I paid and shortly after I had to get a new transmission and it cost me about a thousand bucks. It lasted me a while though so I can’t complain too much. I bought a brand-new car a few years later and right after I paid it off, the A/C crapped on me. Currently I stick with Mazda. I like them for safety and fuel efficiency. One more thing, a friend of mine told me that when you set up automatic payments for your car, try to pay a little more every month toward principal. You will have to check with the bank that the extra amount is going toward principal. They don’t always do that automatically. Double check.
Finding a partner
So this should be a fun topic…finding a partner can be fun but it is also something you should put some effort into. If you are lucky enough to just find someone and it’s easy-peasy, that’s great, but I won’t get into my mess…it was a mess. I searched high and I searched low. 😂 So, the only thing I wanna say about this is that you should find someone with goals, if possible similar to your goals, and someone that works hard enough. Don’t get a lazy bum. Your life will suck. Find a forward thinker who has plans. You need is someone you know you can count on. When you are in trouble or need something, can you call your partner? If not, they GOTS TO GO. Life is too short to cling to someone for love without substance. You want an equal partner. That’s how you remain balanced and healthy. You must be a team. That means if one of you works and the other doesn’t, you better be pulling your weight somehow. And if you are a hard worker and you find a slacker, good on you if you want to work harder, it’s in your blood, 😂 but I find a marriage is best when it’s easy going. Just find your match or your mismatch, whoever makes you happy and pulls their own weight.
Having kids
Practice safe sex when you are not trying to have kids. Unsafe sex is a ticket to STD’s and KID’s. Once you are ready to have kids, you should know how expensive they are. They eat a lot and require lots of wipes and diapers and car seats and strollers and diaper bags and cream and food and more food and bottles and cribs and soap and hairbrushes and toys and blankets and clothes and shoes and day care and medical care and more and more and more. They cry and they cause stress. Please make sure you are stable enough emotionally and financially to have children. If you do have them, I recommend a 529 Plan if you are able to save a little for their college. Once that child is an adult, they will be grateful for anything. Good luck and be safe.
Voting
People have mixed views about voting but I like to do it for the principle. As a woman, I feel like it is my responsibility to vote to honor those that had to fight for the right in the past. There are even some countries women are not allowed to vote. This is sad. So, I do it because I can and it empowers me as an individual among society. I recommend all people do it but I know there are many that believe it does not matter. That could be true or it could be an excuse for laziness. Get up and go vote.
Defend Yourself
Please learn to speak up for yourself when it’s needed. Learn to fire a gun and get a concealed carry license in your state. Do not be in a position where you cannot defend your home if necessary. Always keep guns locked away from children.
Cleanliness
Try to clean your home every now and then. Take the time to make your bed. Keep the bathroom and kitchen clean. You don’t want to live in a nasty area. So, stop and take a look and get to work on it. You will feel better in a clean environment. For me, I have to get rid of clutter. That’s my problem and I know it and it’s like I always think, after I do this or after I do that, I’ll get to it and then I never do. Recently I thought about doing a little at a time and it has been helping, but I need to get back to it. I’m just being real with myself when I know there is a problem. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you. Recognize the needs of your home.
Overcoming trauma
When I said I was writing this for teenagers who may have been neglected like I was, I was asked if I was going to put anything emotional about possible PTSD from trauma as a child. I replied that I am writing about forward thinking, confidence, self-esteem and just empowering ideas. That is my goal. I want to empower you with ideas and give you the strength to move on with your life. I would say that if you have had a traumatic event happen, you should find someone to talk to about it. Therapy is an option that helps. Keeping it bottled up will give you more issues than if you just let it go. Cry about it and release it and try to move on. Dry your tears with money. Is that too insensitive? Maybe but that’s what helps me.
Do not get married young
“A new study suggests that people should get married between the ages of 28 and 32 if they don’t want to get divorced, at least in the first five years” Luscombe, 2015. I think that’s all you need to hear. If only it were that easy…Why would you listen? It’s only based on statistics and facts. Why would you listen to those? Are they supposed to be true? I probably wouldn’t listen either. 😂 A Marriage that ends in divorce can hurt you financially but that is not the only reason I would advise you not to. People change from adolescence to adulthood. If you are convinced and you want to marry young, please just be sure that this person does not mistreat you in anyway. You are special and you are delicate. You are the boss hogg outlaw. Do not let the person who is supposed to love you treat you like dirt.
And yes, I married young and dumb. Now I’m married again but I was very picky when finding a partner. Take your time and make sure you can spend EVERY ONE of your last days in life with him or her. Be careful because infatuation gets the best of us and we are in a daze. Oh, I’ve been there and it was wonderful, but then reality hits…you find out who they really are and what they weren’t showing you in the beginning. Yeah, I was dumb the first time and married the first guy I saw because I thought that was part of what life had for me. I suppose it is because I lived through it but I think if I were to go back, I could have done without all the headaches I had during that marriage and after my divorce proceedings started. I’ll tell you, in a divorce, someone always get the shitty end of the stick. I’m not saying that was me…but I did have to make the most effort to get it completed. People will want to stay in the marriage to stay connected to you. Don’t let them. It’s very draining to be attached to someone you don’t want to be attached to. I wish you the best my friends.
Self-awareness: Understanding you have emotional issues
Are you an angry person? Do you get violent often? Do you have an addiction? Are you scared to go outside? Are you overwhelmingly sad? None of these are healthy. Please take care of number one- YOURSELF. First, you need to recognize that you are not alone. There are so many people dealing with crap in their lives and in their minds. It’s normal to react emotionally to whatever horrible situation is going on in your life. I don’t know what you are going through and I won’t pretend to know but I can tell you that I have been down in the dumps before. I felt so sorry for myself and I thought I was alone. For a long time, I was alone. I didn’t let anyone get close to me and I regret that now. My emotions were all over the place and if I did have someone to love, I was extremely needy. Well, I may still be a little needy I admit but not even close to how I was in the past. Maybe it’s because of my issues with my parents. I didn’t feel loved by either of them growing up. That’s a bad feeling and it’s a lonely feeling for a child. It was hard not to wish I was anyone else other than myself. I hated my life and sometimes I wanted to die. I cannot say I know how you feel but I can say that I think you can get through it. I think you can overcome it but you have to try. You have to pick yourself up and live your life like no one has lived a life before. Write your own story about who you are. Ask yourself– Who am I? What do I like? What makes me get up every day? What do I want to do in my life?
You need to make connections with other people. I think that we feed off of the people around us emotionally. So, when you are around negative people, you become negative and when you hang out with positive people, you become positive. Plus, it helps to have someone you can talk to about your life. It can give you instant relief for a moment. You might dwell on it again later but talking is a release, like exercise too. I used to work out all the time and if I was stressed, I would go for a run. It was such a nice feeling. Listen to music and just focus on the beats and the sounds. Sing along or dance, it helps. I am not a therapist or anything close and to be honest, it took me a lot of years to get healthy and I am still working on it. That’s why I want to help. I don’t wish you to take as long as I did to start healing if you need to heal from anything. I feel like it’s taken me 17 years. I have been so quiet up until now. If you knew me three weeks ago, you don’t know me now. I have changed just from opening up little by little. We are all a work in progress but we have to keep trying and be self-aware. If you need medical or spiritual attention, a hospital or church is a good place to start. You will have to be open about what’s going on with you and how it makes you feel. I know that is easier said than done. It takes a strong person to admit when you need help .It will turn out better for you to get past this. For all the times that I was sad or depressed, now I feel like I have had more happy years…I am not sure if that is true, but the point is that it is almost a blur. It’s still there in my memories and comes up every now and then but I am happy so I don’t worry about it. I just appreciate where I am. I want to have control of my emotions and my life. That’s what drives me. To let someone else have power over my life, will not happen again. What good is a lesson you had to go through if you don’t listen to what it teaches you?
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Source:
Luscombe, B. (2015, July 21). Math Says This Is the Perfect Age to Get Married. Retrieved from https://time.com/3966588/marriage-wedding-best-age/